New Website!

It's been a good run with blogspot, right down to the advertisements for Swine Flu and Preparation H. But now you can see all the comics from this blog and brand new comics on our new advertisement-free website, Cheesequake.net! We hope you check it out and enjoy it! Thanks!

- Purple Cow Beta (AKA Ben AKA Diva Muffin)

Mooving on!

Hey guys, if you're wondering why we haven't posted in a while, it's not because you got any less pretty, it's because we are preparing to move to a new hosting site! Blogspot was good for a start, but we are sick of all the swine flu ads that keep popping up. We are still setting up the new site, when it's done and ready we'll let you know and keep the comics flowing from the new site like milk and honey from a beecow colony

Comic - Pokebama

You know Obama is a celebrity when he gets tons of news coverage for killing a fly.  Clearly for this extremely controversial and polarizing action that he has taken, you must have a nuanced opinion or you can never have a career in the political sphere.  In unrelated news, I just killed a fly just now (okay honestly I tried to kill it but it got away)

Comic - Harvard Bum

Hey Readers,
I know it's been a while since I last posted but as I explained I've been abroad. I'm taking a class at Harvard now for 6 weeks. It inspired me to make this cartoon. I was thinking that I wonder if the homeless people in Harvard/ Harv square are more arrogant than other bums around MA. :P Enjoy the cartoon!
~Roopa :)

Comic - Detox

I get quite amused by all this detox, antioxidant pseudoscience hullaballoo.  Yeah sure, if you drink nothing but cranberry juice for 24 hours, of course you'll lose weight!  You'll just gain it right back afterwards!  How about exercise for Pete's sake?  Ya lazy foos!  Gahhh time for work. 

Post

Hey Faithful Viewers,
I'm back from my trip to London! Things went really well there and surprisingly even the weather cooperated for the most part. Sorry I didn't get a chance to post any comics whilst there but Ben did a great job of posting. I'll get back to posting comics shortly. I have to move to Boston later tonight for classes at Harvard. I'll try to fit in a comic before leaving but this month also seems like it's gonna be a non-comic month for me.

We'll see how things go.

Anyway, hope you all are enjoying the comics!
~Roopa

Comic - O RLY?

This is all i got, suckas. Posted this on the "I can has asian chikin wrap?" (loldeis) facebook group that was rather popular for Brandeis internet nerds like me for a little while, this one got more comments than any others so I figured why not post it here. If you don't get it, you either don't, never did or never will go to Brandeis or are NOT WELL VERSED IN INTERNET MEMES. Either way, shame on you.

Comic - College Party

Haha it feels so weird that all those skeevy parties will now be for all those youngsters.  Real men with real jobs have their alcohol fueled parties...alone.  Haha but no really I just made this comic because I realized Waldo would blend in so perfectly it'd be impossible to find him.  Let me know if it's driving you crazy, but I promise he is there somewhere

Comic - Computers

Seriously that PC guy had been going through an inferiority complex for a while because of Mac guy's unassuming I'm-better-than-you-and-I-know-it attitude.  But of course a mac would win in a fight, especially if it was a toughbook...those things are crazy unbreakable.  I'm getting a new MacBook off Ebay, since my old Powerbook is seeing it's final days after a good college run and the mac store is a huge ripoff.

Oh and hey this is my 20th comic posted on this site! w00t.

Comic - Pressing Issues

  I'm not really opinionated on that whole Octomom story, if anyone asked me what I thought of it I would say that it's just a lame story during a slow news week.  Honestly, I don't care much for mass media coverage of anything, but at least it's on a relevant issue now since some of the hype is justified.  Now if only they could give fair coverage other pressing issues like global warming and the genocide in Sudan... ratings would plummet.  Now if it's about Britney Spears' latest trainwreck, NOW we're talking news!  LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!

Comic - It's What's for Dinner

Hey, if there's ever a nuclear attack - they'll become the new hot item.  Speaking of hard shelled creatures no one really likes, I tried crab for the first time last week at a casino.  I wondered why the dish was called the "Smashing Crab Party" until they brought out three whole crabs with a claw cracker and a wooden mallet, and a cute little crab smashing bib.  I just took the mallet and started cracking the shell, making a mess everywhere; from the look of the New Orleans couple next to us, I was doing this terribly wrong.  They came over and instructed me on proper crab-destroying technique, which is actually a quite complex and multi-step process, and I must say now I am definitely a pro at it, crabs beware.

Comic - Wheel of Misfortune

Some people just shouldn't go on game shows. I'm kinda disappointed as to how the people came out - in terms of the drawing - but the rest of the "set" took longer to make and I got distracted. Anyway, enjoy the cartoon!

This is my last cartoon for a while because I'm going to be out of the country for a month. I'm sure Ben'll keep you all entertained in the meantime.

Comic - Apprehend that Swine!

Why can't the human race get diseases where we can mutant for the better - like turn into XMen characters or something? Swine flu is too lame... unless we all turned into pigs. The name's misleading. Ah well.

Here's a bonus story for you all too:
This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, and this little piggy gave us swine flu, and now we all stayed home. :P

Comic - Political Comic (sorta)!

  Swine flu - Because no one cared when the bird flu.  Symptoms include stumpy arms and the desire to read the Lazy Webcartoonist Times: All the squiggly lines that are fit to print.

Seriously though, I think the best thing about this pandemic panic is that it gives me an excuse to drink and not sleep... "No really guys, I'm doing it to weaken my immune system so I'm less susceptible to Swine Flu, I'm just looking out for my own health!"  Yesss.

Bonus Comic - Earth Day

Everyone celebrates it in their own way, I guess.  After all, nature probably would hate us if it had the capacity to hate.  With all the crazy natural disasters that have happened in the past decade, on second thought,  maybe it does.  

Insanity Restored

Hey everyone,
Sorry for the lack of cartoon posts lately. In addition to being sick, I also lost all the cartoons I had drawn when my PC malfunctioned a few days ago. Luckily, I fixed the PC today so I can upload some cartoons again! *cue sigh of relief* Hope all of you are doing well! Be sure to recommend our blog to your friends!

Time to get some sleep. ;) Nite everyone!

Comic - Tacky Cartoon

There is really no *point* to this cartoon ;)

Documenting My Subconscious Insanity

Hey so I'd been wanting to do this for a long, long, time (since high school, but I always said "well at this point it would be too late" so way to go me for committing this almost after college), but I finally decided to actually start a Dream Log!   Perhaps due to my sleep deprivation tendencies or my sometimes freakish memory, I tend to have very vivid, lengthy and detailed dreams, sometimes even just from a 20 minute nap.  Naturally, I can't remember all the stupid details a few days or even later, so I thought this would be a good way to keep track, and I'll even share the funnier/crazier ones via posts on this blog.  

Occasionally I'll try to dive retroactively into what few funny dreams I do still remember, though they'll lack detail as I only will write what I remember.For my sake and yours, I'll try to leave out the naughty bits (Freud is disappointed by this) or ones that embarrass close friends and family.    This will make some interesting filler post in between comics, who knows, maybe they have some meaning.  I'd love for any readers to share their own crazy dreams in the comments section.  Time for me to go start my paper due on Tuesday (Procrastination is what probably gave me the inspiration for this in the first place).

Comic - Tools

Mrs. Hammer is probably just taking out her anger on others due to her bad hair day, in which case I am entirely to blame.  Or perhaps she is just mad about being a personified hammer.  Wait, that would also be my fault.  Crap.

Comic - Sock Market

Moral of the Story - Never invest in the sock market! :)

Comic - moves

So apparently I don't know how to use MS Paint.  Is this really a surprise to anyone by now though?  I'm just posting this anyway... and the green shirt guy is holding a taco, that is not some sort of discolored beefy bicep.

Oh noes!

Hey, some of you may be wondering why Roopa AKA Purple Cow Alpha didn't post a comic this week.  The answer is that she may have frikkin Pancreatitis, so if you were annoyed about it you can hide in a hole now.  Yeah I hope you all wish her good health and all that other good stuff (free candy is an acceptable wish).  Ok you can get out of your hole now.

Comic - Tomatoes

Tomato-powered guns - the way of the future.  The AMERICAN way of the future.  Oh by the way, do you think tomatoes shouldn't have the right to associate to associate with its salad counterparts despite technically being a fruit?  If so, you should look outside your window, it's been nice knowing you.*

                                           

   *Not applicable in state of New Jersey

Comic - Friday the 13th

I guess the dude on the right should've paid more attention to the freaked out dude on the left.

Comic - Curiosity

  The Man in the Yellow hat is obviously part of the witness protection program.  And he probably needs a taxi because I don't know how he could walk with those horribly deformed legs I gave him.  Sorry guy.

Comic - The Polygamist

If the Bachelor took place in Arab countries I bet you'd have the above. ;P Did everyone see the last Rose ceremony earlier this week? I don't really watch the show but I get my updates from Ellen's show and online. I think that dude would definitely love it if he HAD been on a show called "The Polygamist." He seems quite closing to being one... first he said ya to one girl and then changed his mind. I don't really understand why people bother going to the show. Ah well. C'est la vie!

Comic - Game Time

Fun fact: 8:00, whether it's A.M. or P.M., is always Hammertime.  MC paid the Government big bucks to make that dream of his a reality.  You're probably already being wiretapped simply for not owning a pair of parachute pants.

Comic - Bulldog Billionaire

Like everything else on this page, this isn't to be taken seriously... just having fun w/the Oscars! What a great night that was, huh? From Broadway to Bollywood they covered it all! The above cartoon is just me being silly regarding the Oscars. Hope u like it!

Comic - Insults

If Shakespeare was alive today, he'd totally put every rapper to shame with his lyrical stylings, and then he'd finish them off by biting his thumb at them.  Shakes was a true gangsta 

Clip

Honestly, why would you want a mustache on your napkin... unless you lived down west and were an outlaw... it'd make for a quick disguise.

Video: Valentine's Day

Just a random vid on youtube. Happy Valentines Day everyone! :)

Video clip: Weird Japanese Cars

Here's another car clip. Decided to make it separate from the last post for easy access. The first car they show is my favorite!

Futuristic Japanese Cars

Video clip : World's Smallest Car

In a world where we're constantly trying to find items that are bigger and better, some guy in London has made the world's smallest car. It fits only one person and weights only 130 lbs. lol. Check it out

World's Smallest Car

Comic - Cupid and his Cousin

Happy Valentine's Day!! :)

Comic - Beans

And they will fart uncontrollably the entire time.

Link: Real life Benjamin Button?

I was just reading the news items on AOL and came across a very curious one. Now I haven't seen "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" but the phenomenon of aging in reverse seemed a thing of myth. However, there is a similar case with a baby in England. She is not aging in reverse but seems to have one-upped Benjamin Button by not aging whatsoever! Baby won't grow Check out the link!

Comic - Fish Bowl

This link will make you *crack* up

This is a pretty good follow-up to the cartoon Ben just posted. It's amazing what people can do with Google Earth now-a-days. I think it's hilarious that they found a pot farm simply using Google Earth... these Feds have too much free time lol. The farm was 2 acres! Isn't that crazy? Read ahead for the article. There are two links at the bottom of this post if you want to read more.

If something is located on Planet Earth these days, there's a good chance that someone is looking at it. With satellites monitoring everything and Google Earth putting it all up online, it's getting harder and harder to hide your nuclear weapons cache and keep your naked sunbathing habits private. It's certainly getting harder to grow your greens out in the open.

Swiss police scored a major bust the other day when they accidentally stumbled onto a two-acre cannabis plantation while looking at Google Earth maps. The pot was hidden inside of a cornfield, but cops were able to spot the herb between the stalks.

''It was an interesting chance discovery,'' said a cop involved in the raid. The bust was part of a bigger investigation that eventually led to 16 arrests and the seizure of 1.2 tons of bud.

Swiss Cops Find Pot Farm Link

Also check out NY Times Article

Comic - Coke with Lemon

Gerald's marketing campaign presentation didn't exactly make a positive impression on his business associates.

Comic - Cherry Garcia

He like's performing if there's a mosh *pit*. :)

Comic - Ribosome: Life in the E.R.

  It looks like cell transport might get a little dangerous tonight.  

Comic - Congrats President Obama! :P

Figured we definitely needed a cartoon to commemorate this momentous day in history: Inauguration 2009! In honor of the inauguration, this week I'm posting my cartoon 1 day early. Congratulations to Pres. Obama and his family! Looks like the future - at least 4 years - is now in the hands of the youth!

Comic - Davy Jones' Locker

O'Malley really should have read the fine print when he signed up at the pirate gym.

100 bottles of beer

(This picture is not drawn by Purple Cow)

The following link was too funny not to post on this site. Apparently, in Peru, the top court ruled that workers cannot be fired simply for showing up to work drunk!! The full article is below.

Drunk Dude Newsjavascript:void(0)

Maybe they feel productivity will go up? 4 workers were already fired for drinking and 2 were drivers lol. Maybe Budweiser should relocate to Peru to help their workers. :)

Comic - Webcamels

back 2 skool

Yeah and you were wondering why we stopped updating everyday.  Maybe.  Yeah but i'll still find time somehow, just like I had time to see the wrestler tonight (good movie) and then wait for the Branvan since my friend got his car towed by parking in one of the only 2 "No Parking" spots in the lot.  Well on the bright side, the theater in waltham has flavored powders for the popcorns, which can be really awesome or really disgusting depending on how you use them.  I'm back doing crew again, so maybe it'll help me get insane/sleep deprived enough that my blog posts become strings of random gibberish. woot.

A Moose RUN!!!!!!!

It seems like the moose have taken over the news the last couple days. Every time I log on there's a new story about a misbehaving moose. For some reason, the location is always Washington. Coincidence? Maybe. Or is this a scheme between these creatures to take over the country? j/k, but you gotta admit it is pretty strange! I think the weirdest story regarding a moose that I had ever heard was when one kept going swimming in this lady's backyard pool. It took them ages to get him out!

Anyway, check out the two articles below and add your opinion on what you think is up with these crazy moose! :) Feel free to add your own stories about crazy animals on the run!

Moose gets loose!

Baby Moose falls through Wash Family's House!

Comic - An eye for an eye

DDR!

I finally got a DDR during Christmas! Since then I've played it a couple times with my sister and managed to get the hang of it. It seems like you need to be really hyper to play the game. Hence, Purple Cow once again suggests that caffeine can make or break you - use it wisely.



I spent today looking at DDR vids online to see if I could pick up any pointers from masters. To my suprise I found that the best DDR player is a 4 year old kid!! LOL! Check out this clip and be amazed at this kid's skills. It's ridiculous!

DDR Child Prodigy

Comic - Cell Phone Woes

This cartoon is dedicated to everyone who has dropped their phone in a toilet. ;P It's okay, you can admit it... we won't make fun of you here. No toilet humor.

Random fact: 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

Caffeine is God, or at least a Demigod

        Yeah so I went on a late date last night and went to some 24-hour diner where all the waiters either acted like they hated your face or they were smiley but didn't speak any English.  After getting ice cream they just gave me my check and I wanted to stay longer so I asked for coffee even though it was like midnight, without realizing  I coulda just done decaf.

         So I was up acting happy and caffeinated and talking to people in different time zones and going on facebook and making some fantasy baseball trade offers until 5:30 A:M.  You should try it, some day you don't have anything important the next day, it really is quite fun and other people will either share your happiness or smile as they discreetly dial the psychiatric hospital.  Speaking of, here's one of my favorite insane vids that the making of probably involved a lot of caffeine or some other more potent drug (protip: I recommend just watching the first 6:30 to avoid nightmares and such).  You've probably already seen it if you're crazy enough to visit here, but why don't you watch it anyway since you're clearly already procrastinating?  That's the spirit!

Update - 8:31 P.M. - Blargh caffeine is evil don't do it kids ughhhh

"Rejected - Don Hertzfeldt"

Purple Cow lyrics

These weren't written by us... though I assure you if we did they'd be even weirder. Maybe we'll make a purple cow jingle for the site. Honestly I didn't think anyone would actually write lyrics about a purple cow. Though I bet there are people out there who think no one would've made a blog called purple cow... so I guess we're even? :)

Enjoy ze lyrics...

A PURPLE COW
(Fred Spielman / Paul Francis Webster)

Doris Day - 1953

The very day the day we kissed
I went to see my occulist
The occulist said "I insist, it looks like love

I never thought I'd ever see a purple cow
I never thought I'd hear a butter fly meouw
I never thought I'd see these funny things somehow
But you've got me seeing them now

I never thought I'd ever see a green giraffe
I never thought I'd ever see a waltzing calf
I never thought I'd see a weeping willow laugh
But you've got me seeing them now

Ev'rything's hazy, upside down above
Don't think I'm crazy
I'm in Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love

I never thought I'd ever see a purple cow
You gotta be in love to see a purple Cow
But since the day you kissed me, Baby
Take a bow, 'cause you've got me seein' one now

(Instrumental Break)

I never thought I'd ever see a purple cow
You gotta be in love to see a purple Cow
But since the day you kissed me, baby
Take a bow, 'cause you've got me seein' one now
Better than bein' one
You've got me seein' one now

Comic - Party Schools

So that appropriate tailgating can occur, the Smokah Bowl takes place in Amsterdam, where they play on a soccer field instead of a football stadium, but they're so out of it they usually don't even notice.

Also, apparently red shirt guy is so excited about the Smokah Bowl that his head doubles in size when he mentions it.  Um yeah.

2008: The year of the Rickroll

By this point, Rickroll has become a household word, which Youtube helped popularize by Rickrolling everyone on April Fools Day.  It was a funny joke for a while, but we need a new variation to keep us busy.  Here are two of the most delicious "rolls" I've found on the internets.

"John McCain gets BarackRolled"

"Cake Roll'd"



No the first one didn't actually happen, but imagine if it did...  The second one, you may need to sacrifice a small piece of your soul to enjoy.  But you've probably already done that somewhat just from visiting here.  Muahaha.