Monday, December 29, 2008

New Year's Resolutions

2009 is approaching fast. I'm sure you've all made New Year's resolutions already or are planning on making some. If you're rather confused regarding what to make or how to approach the new year, then use the following list to help you prepare for the New Year.

Tips for 2009
1) Pay everyone only in pennies
2) Say "You got served, sucka!" every time a waiter gives food to someone at your table
3) Wear underwear only outside your pants.. if you have access to a cape then wear that too. When you see an elderly person crossing the road swoosh your cape around and join them saying only you can take them across.
4) Procrastinate more... or delay this one till 2010
5) Pretend to be an answering machine when people call you
6) Pretend to be a dial tone when people call you
7) Answer the phone as Dr. Seuss would
8) Put your money where your mouth is... no really, tape it there and walk around outside
9) Learn to moon walk - walk a block and then moon someone (just not a cop, or you could pull a zsa zsa gabor and slap 'em)
10) Act surprised every time you hear someone say 2009 and claim that you just arrived from a time capsule

Personally, I already do number 3, so I guess I need to work on fulfilling the other 9.

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